Can't live with or without you, Ikea

(Sorry about the long absence of new blurts. I knew this would happen. I have the best of intentions, but somehow the weeks whip by and ideas only get half-written down. I think the trick will be to keep these shorter. Hah! Blurt 2.0 continues....)

So I have a love-hate relationship with Ikea. A visit to my house would suggest otherwise. My bedroom furniture is Ikea (Hemnes). Sam's bed is Ikea (also Hemnes). There are Ikea shelves and mirrors on the wall. Our bookcases in the living room are Ikea (Leksvik). Ikea chairs, shelves, spice jars, kids cutlery, glass jars, etc in the kitchen. And the basement area, office, and guest room look like Ikea stumbled downstairs and threw up. And I wish I could say with the preponderance of Ikea furniture throughout the house, visiting our humble abode would be like stepping into an Ikea catalogue -- with sun-filled rooms, hipster couples, ebulliant children -- but mostly it looks like, well, a mish-mash of particle board and melamine.

I have tried to shop elsewhere. Surly Husband and I once swore solemnly over brunch many years ago that from henceforth we would only purchase quality pieces of furniture. Furniture made of real wood, that we didn't have to assemble, that couldn't be found in countless homes. Imagine our surprise when we discovered that quality pieces of furniture only seemed to come in $1000 increments. So we lowered our expectations a little and began to explore big box stores, only to discovered that most of the furniture was, well, too old and suburban for our snobby, youthful taste, and seemed to be no better quality anyway. And all the people selling furniture on Craigslist were simply trying to offload old Ikea furniture and overstuffed couches.

And so, time and again, we would trudge back to Ikea, buy something everyone else had, and with our $1 frozen yoghurt in hand, would do what I called the Ikea walk of shame back to the car.

But I can't hate on Ikea forever. Since becoming a parent. I've grown to love the kids section. We bought a fancy maple, drop-down, Sleepyhollow crib second-hand. We never used the drop down function and ultimately switched it for the simple Gullivar crib I'd picked up for my mum's place, and now never have to worry about the drop-down death trap issue. We bought Sam a singing potty (yes, a singing potty) with several functions and pieces, but ultimately he prefered the plain, $3 Ikea potty.

And finally, the other day, I'd absolutely had it with cleaning the space-aged Peg Perego Prima Pappa high chair. A gazillion functions we never used (seriously, who tilts their high chair back to feed a baby anymore?) equals a gazillion crevices to clean three times a day or more. As Liv feels she is perfectly capable of feeding herself, thank you, the Peg becomes a slop encrusted horror after every meal. The Ikea Antilop high chair is a simply, molded piece of plastic that wipes clean easily and takes up so much less space. Much to my horror, it seems to be out of stock across Canada, so I had to take to Kijijji to find a used one. Life is instantly better in the kitchen.

So to you new parents out there trying to figure out what to stock your home with, I say get thee to Ikea. Don't be drawn in by all the additional gizmos and features. The baby industry preys on how overwhelmed your are feeling. Buy simple, buy plain, and buy washable. And pick up some Swedish meatballs on the way out of the store. Kids love 'em.